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Taking a step back from social media

Social media fortunately and unfortunately has been a part of my whole life. I remember being around 10 years old lying my age for a Facebook account. I remember using MSN, Bebo, Habbo, myspace you name it I had it all.

We all like to keep up with the latest trends, hot topics and gossip. Within my circle, it’s celebrities, influencers and the people you may refer to as Insta famous.

At the age of 15, I was diagnosed with body Dysmorphic disorder. Being diagnosed triggered me to look into the reasons why I felt the way I did. With Attending counselling for a few months I was able to realise that my extreme insecurity was a blend of my conditioning growing up and the extended hours spent browsing social media sites.

I was brainwashed by the images, believing everyone else’s lives were better than mine and spent hours on a comparing spree.

Now, I’m not here to bash social media. It’s really been a game changer in the new millennial era. Social Media has allowed us to directly target the right audiences attention, to network around the globe, use it as a tool for generating income and God knows all the other cool benefits of social media.

However, If most your day is spent browsing your social media sites please know that you are more vulnerable and under the influence of subconsciously comparing your life to someones else’s.

I don’t see Kim Kardashian keeping up with my life because she’s too busy living hers. So let’s start being present in our own lives and create memories to remember.

Below are the benefits I was able to realise and gain when taking a break from social media.

I became more mindful

The saying You really don’t know what you’ve got till its gone is so true. It wasn’t until I deleted my social media App’s that I realised I had an addiction that needed to be controlled. The automatic withdrawals going on my phone to click on an App that wasn’t there made feel like a bit of an idiot. If I was a second bored I would go on my phone, if I was on the train I would go on my phone even if I was busy I would still find a time to go on my phone and I was only able to realise this by deleting the Apps that kept me constantly on my phone.

Moving forward I’m now more mindful of how much time I spend using my phone. Although, recently I made a new Instagram.

Maintaining discipline to not spend hours browsing on Instagram, I already know will be a difficult task at times. With a weak mind being mindful is helpful but can only take you so far. So I downloaded an App called Moment which allows me to set goals, track the amount of screen time spent and notifies when the time to take a break.

I was more present

I recently went to Drakes concert (was amazing btw) and was seated on the lower tier so I had a great view of what was installed. The lights dim, everyone standing rushes forward pushing their way to the front, everyone quickly gets their Snapchat ready, start screaming hysterically and watches Drake appear on stage through their mobile phone.

It contradicts the whole point of seeing the artist face to face because you’re still watching them through a screen. I used to be that person who would record the majority of the concerts I went to then go through the 101 videos that have filled up my Icloud, to only hear myself scream.

That’s just one example of how normal distracting ourselves from the present moment has become. My advice would be to give yourself the opportunity to experience things in the present moment because it’s in those moments we can’t get back.

I Get things done

Coming off social media has made me more productivee. How? Because of the time I thought I didn’t have was wasted on social media. Now I have more time to focus on the things that are really important like this post for instance.

No more self-sabotage

Constantly being bombarded with images of everything I ‘don’t’ have put me in a place of insecurity. A break from social media helped me to have more compassion for myself and appreciate my body that little more.

Become more aware of your self sabotaging behaviours NOW so that moving forward you know when its time to say I’ve had enough and begin doing something that makes you feel good. Know your limits and give yourself a break from social media once in a while.

Sending you positive vibes and peace of mind.

Ren x

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The Journey Begins

Me and my daughter

I never wanted to go university. After having a Gap year completing college I felt it was time to come out of my comfort zone and see if I was ready. I know it would make my family proud so why not take a leap into the unknown.

After the first term I knew It wasn’t for me and so I left. I continued to work, uncertain about what direction to take next and lead by fear only wanting to make right choices.

A couple months later (December) picking up on overtime at work and had just booked a holiday with my boyfriend in June. I now had more time to figure out what route to take next…well I thought I had time until I found out I was pregnant.

Why now? Why me? What am I going to do? How am I going tell my parents?

I always knew I was going to keep my baby but was afraid of what others would think/say. Am I ready for this? Is there ever a right time?, Could I balance being a mother whilst fulfilling my own dreams? That left me torn and In doubt. I knew I would have to make sacrifices, that it may take longer to reach my goals but surely its possible.

I had no clue on how my parents would react and tried to not to overthink different scenarios. Thankfully my parents agreed to support me in my decision. Yes, there were moments thoughout the months as my belly my grew that my parents looked overwhelmed and uncertain. Although they ensured to reassure me that I had their support.

Telling my friends was easy as some were already parents. It nice, having friends that can relate to you. Although some gave me a word of advice, I call preparation to have thick skin as I’m going to get a lot of stares and opinions throughout my motherhood journey, especially as I look younger than my age.

With embracing and loving my pregnancy I also became mindful of those little moments I would get a stare and thought of judgement. I realised you hardly see any young women who have children attend their antenatal classes or mother and baby clubs. Throughout my pregnancy I would keep up to date with the growth of my baby via the Bounty App and reading blogs on other motherhood experiences but could never find the topic discussions that I could really relate to at the time of need in my journey becoming Young parent.

Motherhood already comes with the pressures to keep on top of everything and for that we should be celebrated and motivated. It’s a gift to all women whatever age, size or stage in life that your in. I feel it’s our duty as mothers to break the stereotype surrounding motherhood especially young motherhood as we are no different then one another.

Now I am no writer but I am passionate enough to share my experiences and journey with you as I evolve through Motherhood.

Hope your here to stay on this journey.

Ren x

Ignoring the signs within

Health, Wealth, Love, happiness, success we want it all, well I at least know I do.

I wake up with gratitude giving thanks that I have another day to grow as a person. I get up, go to the loo and by the time I get back my daughter is staring blankly at my face. I pick her up and head to my kitchen/living room section to prepare her bottle. I look around at the mess I made from the night before, frustrated with myself that I should have done the dishes but chose to leave that job for today as I was too much of a zombie to do it last night. I change my daughter’s bottom give her, her bottle to hold and morning porridge ( depending on the day), burb her, then tackle the house chorus. After that, I’ll rest because to me I deserve it. Eat breakfast and get myself and baby girl ready.

I’ll then spend a couple of hours of dedicated time with my daughter. We play, read books and dance around the house. Don’t forget that still includes changing, feeding ect. Believe it or not, it can be draining.

My daughter is now asleep. I use this time to either rest or go on my phone for what I feel is about an hour until I check the time and see it’s 6:30. How time flies. I shoot up and continue my mother duties, eat dinner late, watch Netflix and fall asleep.

What a day!

Now, this isn’t how I always live my days and I’m certainly not saying that spending dedicated hours of play with your child/children is wrong.

For you, It could be days that you spend all day with your friends to doing your 9 to 5 eat, sleep repeat. These days are productive although we still go sleep wanting more and knowing we could have done more and I think I know why?

We resist doing the things that we really want to do because fear is holding us back. There are people that are living their best versions of themselves RIGHT NOW! And if you feel you are then this post probably isn’t for you. If you are otherwise, then know I have times when I feel the same way too.

Slowing breaking free

To be honest this is the first day and first action step I’m taking that makes me feel like I’m making a start. Yes, I’m feeling nervous, yes I have stopped and thought what’s the point? And yes I’ll probably hesitate 5 times before pressing ‘Publish’. Although I also feel excited, I feel like I’m making progress, and is taking a risk in the right direction and for me, that Is enough.

As of this moment, I’m choosing to flow with change than resist it is by learning to trust these signs within.

Constantly Feeling uncertain:

My personal struggle is accepting that life is full of uncertainty. When I resist the changes I need to make in my life I feel lost. I feel Indecisive, hopeless and wish that I had a personal psychic to tell me what to do, to ensure every decision I make is the right one that will lead me to the future of my dreams!

I’ve realised that although, still uncertain staying still in uncertainty doesn’t get you anywhere. I’ve tried. You have to be willing to move in a direction that you at least ‘think’ and ‘feel’ you need to do that will move you forward. You see, the change will always occur in our lives but in what direction is our power to steer the wheel.

We overthink:

One the worst feelings I’ve experienced is thinking about what ‘I should be doing’ or ‘could be doing’ whilst doing something I don’t really want to do but then I continue doing that because I’m used to doing it 100 times already and blah blah blah I procrastinate and before you know it the day is done.

When change is needed in our lives and especially when you know exactly the action to make, it will scream at you, yet still pulling you back because your brain is trying to keep you safe. The warfare of overthinking blinds us from the peace of mind we deserve. Now believe me whilst typing this I already know I need to take my own advice but from today I am taking action and kindly asking you to join me.

Today, right now! Of course, after you feed and change baby if your a Mother be sure to make that time to start.

When we start we feel nervous although as we continue and as I continue typing this post I feel more at ease and in the flow.

Finally, some peace of mind knowing you’re doing the right thing.

Intuition:

If your thoughts aren’t enough, nor your heart space to guide you on deciding to face change head-on, then rely on your intuition. I believe it will never let you down. I remember the day I got my first car and got handed the keys. The feeling was off. I should have been jumping up for joy but instead, I had an overwhelming feeling that I should have Changed my mind get and continued viewing more cars. But I was excited, I’ve been waiting soo long for this car, it’s working fine so I’ll be fine. A couple of months later the car had so many complications I ended up selling it. As sad I was I automatically saw the lesson that was to start trusting my intuition. I knew I should have made the right decision then maybe I wouldn’t have got the wrong outcome.

Learning to look within rather than externally is something we all should practice for our own peace of mind. Let’s learn to make it a Habit!

Stay forever blessed.

Ren x