Cons of being a Young Parent

friendship, growth, housing, mental health, motherhood, Uncategorized, youngmum
Me and My Mylah

Having a baby is far from your childhood memories of when you used to play mums and dads. Its takes understanding, growth, patience, responsibility and the list can go on and on. No matter how old you are the principles are still the same, that there is no rule book to parenthood.

Although being a young Mum we tend to have a slight different experience to the average mother ( whatever that means). So below are some cons I’ve discovered since becoming a young parent.

1. You WILL miss out

Being a Young mum your more than likely to still have that buzz to want to go out with your friends and attend social events however that’s not a reality you’ll be living until your child is at least 18. Harsh to hear but it’s the truth. Not every time you’ll have a baby sitter available so expect it, don’t get upset about it as there will be many more events in the future that you will be able to attend.

2. Your independence is replaced with responsibility

Last year I could just get up and go. Fast forward to today, I now have a checklist of everything I need to pack before I step out the door. I am now more mindful of every choice and decision I make as every consequence that affects me will affect my daughter also.

Being young, you already haven’t had independence for as long as you initially thought (speaking in terms of an unplanned pregnancy), and now with a baby, the consequence can be overwhelming and hard to balance for some. Especially if you’re not mentally prepared, this can be a challenge at first.

3. It can get lonely

You may be the only one out of all your friends who has a child. With that, finding people who can relate to your situation can be a difficult task and in the meantime can get very lonely.

We all get lonely and it’s important for us to try to stay connected and find ways that will help and conquer our feelings of loneliness at times. For example, writing this blog helps me get out of my head when I sometimes feel lonely.

4. You may feel isolated from Motherhood

Again relating to loneliness, when I take my daughter to her baby groups I am always the youngest one there. I feel this stands out amongst the other Mothers. They may smile and a few may have a brief conversation with me but for the most part and In my head, I always felt like they are just trying to figure out exactly how old I am.

When I first started going I used to feel isolated because of this. It wasn’t somewhere I felt welcomed and took time for me to feel comfortable and gain confidence again.

5. The physical changes

Loving my body has been a rollercoaster. I thought I would snap back to normal like some of my other friends who have had children, although God had other plans.

My tummy, covered in stretch Mark and loose skin is my new reality. Surprisingly it hasn’t affected me as bad as I thought it would. Although now I’m a lot more conscious of what I wear whereas before I could wear anything.

6. Emotional changes

Young parents are more likely to experience postpartum depression which is a lot to handle whilst taking care of a baby, as it is easy to ignore the signs. Common symptoms can be feeling in a constant state of sadness, loss of appetite, feeling hopeless and less interested in the world around you, having trouble concentrating/making decisions and difficulty bonding with your baby.

As I am no expert I’d advise you to go on the NHS website for more information and to contact a professional if you feel you can relate to the symptoms above.

7. Education career and sacrifice

It’s hard. Especially if you don’t have the support from family regarding childcare. This can easily make you feel stuck as you want to do more to be able to provide yourself and child but get restricted by high childcare cost, housing situation and any other factors that goes against you making progress. You may have to drop out of work or education and return when your child is older in age. As young parents making those sacrifices are tough.

You are strong as no matter what goes against you as young mum, you continue to rise above. I would like to end this blog on that note as being reminded of the cons can be a bit self-sabotaging. This may not be your reality but if it is just know that you are not alone and that everything will fall into place in due time.

Send you positive vibes always.

Rens x

Reasons why I love breastfeeding!

breastfeeding, mindfulness, motherhood, Pregnancy, youngmum
Photo: pinterest

From once being adamant that I wasn’t going to breastfeed, to now still breastfeeding at 16 months and not knowing when to stop. For me, breastfeeding has been a vital part of surviving motherhood so far. Its times like this now Mylah has chicken poxs, I thank the Lord for my struggling boob (I only breast feed on one side) for some how still producing milk. It is remarkable how our bodies work and so I wanted to share with you why I personally love breastfeeding.

1. The convenience


Surely, I can’t be the only parent, after checking numerous times that you’ve packed everything in your babies bag, and later realise that you have forgotten to pack the formula when your baby Is demanding food. This is when the milk lady (what I like to refer myself as) is here to save the day, to quickly whip out the boobie and feed my baby, whenever and wherever she needs.

2.The best way to build babys immune system


It’s a hard truth but companies can try to make as many formula concoctions but can never be as equivalent to the power your breastmilk holds. You really are a woman of powers. For the first 6 months of your child’s life, YOU are all you need to provide your little one with all the nutrients to build their immune system, containing the right number of hormones, probiotics, healthy sugars and fats. You even shield your baby from infections by creating antibodies, which fight against germs, protecting your baby.

3. No more zombie night feeds

Making bottles during the night is NOT fun. I thought that pumping would save me from the trouble night feeds and lack of sleep but I was wrong.

If you want quick, hassle free night feeds then breastfeeding is your answer.

4. Helps snatch post-baby tummy

After giving birth, my belly still looked like I was 5 months pregnant. Everyone had told me that breastfeeding helped to lose the baby weight, to which I can agree.

At first, it felt so uncomfortable. Imagine feeling your organs and uterus cramping itself back to its original place in your body. As gruesome as it sounds that’s your body adjusting to its new familiar home. Breastfeeding speeds up that process as it burns calories from the body, helping to loose that baby weight and snatch the tummy.

5. She knows I’m the milk lady and you can’t get better bond than that!

There’s something special that happens when your little one snuggles themselves on you during a feed. It reminds me that she is literally apart of me. I feel so proud, responsible and sometimes even tearful knowing that as I’m still considered a home for my daughter internally when was growing and externally as she grows.

Breastfeeding is a journey within itself that involves a lot of sore trials and errors, although once mastered is a journey of growth, connection and convenience, lol. I hope this post helps you to stick with or consider trying breastfeeding.

Sending you positive vibes always.

Ren x