Pros of being a Young Mum

I gave birth at 20, so I’m on the young spectrum of parenthood. Becoming a parent and being considered a good parent isn’t defined but your age. We all have our individual definitions.

Every journey has a story and I choose to share mine with you so here are some pros on my journey being a young Mum.

1. You have more energy and time

Being young you naturally have more energy whizzing around in your body, although at times you may not feel it.

Having energy allows me to stay proactive with Mylah whilst making time for other priorities.

I can get involved with all the other kids climbing through the frames, gliding down the slides and diving into the ball pit.

I feel freer to explore my inner child as I find genuine enjoyment in participating and planning activities for Mylah.

2. You get to grow with your child

This is the best thing about being a young parent. You still have TIME! You don’t need to restrict yourself and question yourself on life’s coulda, woulda, shoulda’s. It’s not the end of your world even though at times you may think it is.

Some people have their careers first, some are in the process, others find their passion after having a child and some later in life.

Whatever your circumstance, you have the opportunity to have a longer ( and sometimes closer) relationship with your child, you have more time to figure out exactly what being a Mother means to you.

As you grow, learn and try new things your little one will also learn, grow and try new things. You’ll learn so much from each other and may even leap into new ventures you never thought was possible but now Know it is as you’ll always have your little one right by your side.

3. You learn the importance of responsibility

Every action you take has a consequence.

If having a baby hasn’t made you realise this yet then other situations in life will.

We are responsible for everything that happens to us In life ( I’m still digesting this one and learning to take my own advice) and also your little one who is dependent on you taking responsibility.

Let’s both learn to own our responsibilities by becoming more mindful of the consequence before diving into action. Remember I didn’t say don’t take Risks but to Respond to life’s situations with a growth mindset by making choices with your child’s best interest at heart.

4. You have the advantage of know how life really works

Being young you have the opportunity to learn how life really works. Especially if you live or are deciding to move out. It’s a lot and can be very daunting at times.

Use this time to do research and understand adulting, after all becoming a parent is considered a huge part of adulting. So do yourself the favour to try to learn the boring things life expects you to know, that you may not fully understand. Learn how money works, learn what is and the importance of life insurance, learn what council tax is and the list can go on and on.

Having basic knowledge of these things will help build your confidence when making adult decisions, that you may thank yourself for in the future.

5. Appreciate the importance of family

Spending time with my family was my last priority. Although, once I had Mylah everything changed.

I need my family as they are my biggest support system. They never fail to see how I’m doing and ask to see Mylah. Mylah will grow up with her other little cousins who are also her age which I love as I know she will never be alone.

Family are the people who are by your side no matter what. That doesn’t mean you have to be related so if that a friend keep them close.

6. Your child will have a close relationship with their grandparents ( and sometimes even great or great-great Grandparents)

Mylah has a close relationship with her grandparents on both sides of the family. Especially with my Mum, it’s great because my Mum’s of an age where she is able to take Mylah places and have her overnight.

Mylah also sees her great grandparents often and has two great-great grandparents who are still alive. This is a blessing as not many people have the chance to see generations in their family.

I hope these pros of being a young parent helped you to realise that there is always a positive in every situation. This is my journey and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Feel free to share any other pros that you’ve experienced being a young parent.

Sending you positive vibes.

Ren x

10 things my Unexpected pregnancy taught me

My pregnancy was far from planned. I always knew I wanted to have kids sometime in the future although had no clue God assigned it to be sooner. Going through the motions with no expectations here are a few things my unexpected pregnancy taught me.

1. The blessing of Gratitude

Giving thanks every day has become automatic since i found out I was pregnant. Pregnancy taught me the importance of radiating gratitude. It gave me the ability to see the things I once took for granted as a precious gift not everyone gets to experience.

Practising gratitude during pregnancy will help uplift you on the days you feel you don’t have the strength by moving you to a space of appreciation and gratefulness.

2. To be confident

People may pass judgement and look at you in the street with confusion but that was a minority compared to the people who smiled and gave me compliments on my style during my pregnancy.

Love it or hate it your belly will still continue to grow. It’s not a sign of insecurity but a statement of strength. If your currently pregnant move forward in confidence, embrace a change of style with your bump and be proud!

3. Self-love from within

Pregnancy allowed me to see the bigger picture. A picture that you can seek only from within that our bodies is perfectly designed to become a habitat for our unborn child.

Learning this I no longer seek the external validation from others of what is expected for my body to look like. Sure I have my off days but I continue to remind myself of the greatest gift life could ever give and it that was birthed through my body.

4. The importance of a healthy diet

I was that paranoid Mum ( probably the only Mum) who would ensure my pee was clear as that was my crazy way of reassuring myself that baby Mylah was healthy.

Eating the right foods is always better and will nourish your body with energy and help boost your mood.

Don’t be that person that uses pregnancy to pig out on takeaways and unhealthy snacks( once in a while is fine and i completely understand cravings) but try to swap a snack with something healthy. Give it some time and see how you feel. (That’s if baby allows you!)

5. To trust my body

I remember counting the days until I was able to feel the flutter in my tummy.

“I think I just felt something”.

Being pregnant allowed me to become so in tune with my body. During my third trimester, Mylah’s usual kicking routine had stopped. I was aware of this as soon as I woke up and she didn’t kick until 12 midday.

Thankfully it wasn’t anything serious but a change in routine according to the Midwife at the hospital. The reality is that anything can happen. So allow yourself to connect you with your body during pregnancy. Don’t ignore any signs of concerns you may have. Always consult with your midwife or go to the hospital.

7. Our paths are different, there weren’t EVER meant to be the same!

I’ll let this one speak for itself.

8. There’s no such thing as a mistake only lessons

There’s something special about seeing your life experiences as lessons.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. My pregnancy was unexpected but far from a mistake. Yes, I would have liked to be in a better position to have a child, that’s most women’s reasons to why they don’t.

Reality check!

We still get pregnant anyway. So rather than beating yourself up for the things You don’t have. Try focusing on the qualities you do have to become the best Mother You can possibly be.

Own your life by taking responsibility. Change the things you can change rather than beating yourself up for the things that have already happened.

9. Not everyone will have the same experience as you

My Mum with me and my brother had horrible pregnancies. I was traumatised seeing my Mum so weak, constantly vomiting and bed bound most of the days. I was age 9 and gave my Mum a hard time. If only I knew then what I knew now I might have been more sympathetic.

My pregnancy was a breeze I don’t mean to brag but honestly, it was. I craved grapefruit and oranges, besides that, I didn’t have any symptoms but the bump itself.

I would notice other pregnant women looking at me as I breezed past them with ease whilst they waddled looking confused.

Never dim your light just because someone else’s experience is different from yours.

Every pregnancy is different. Comparing yourself to others will quickly steal the little joy you had left within yourself to keep going. Don’t be that person.

10. Some People will be as unexpected as you were.

Not everyone’s initial reaction will start with ”congratulations”. Instead, it may start with an “Ohh wow so when did this happen” or “I can’t believe your pregnant” and I would reply with something like “well start believing because it’s happening”.

Some people’s reactions are simply out of curiosity and confusion which is understandable. Although being a young mum I found that reactions can also come from judgement. Don’t shy away or feel intimidated from the people who feel entitled to share their opinion.

Surround yourself with people who uplift you and still be kind to the people who act like they don’t know how babies are made.

Sometimes it’s the things that are unplanned that bring the most joy and growth in life. Allow that to happen for you by seeing the positive of what you can gain and learn rather than being negative about how things should have been.

Sending you positive vibes always.

Ren x